Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
