the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
