Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
