no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
