I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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