You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
