:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.