Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf

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(832): dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf http://tfl.nu/g2ft

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(714): View more from California

Letd wlk him

(714): View more from California

Lrtd walek hime

(714): View more from California

Lets wlk home,,,ther we go

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(714): Letd wlk him (714): Lrtd walek hime (714): Lets wlk home,,,ther we go http://tfl.nu/cege

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(407): View more from Florida

At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!

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(407): At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"! http://tfl.nu/ehkr

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.

(1-250): View more from British Columbia

I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.

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(250): Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you. (1-250): I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this. http://tfl.nu/x6e9

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(712): View more from Iowa

The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.

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(712): The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place. http://tfl.nu/0x49

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(646): View more from New York

the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.

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(646): the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us. http://tfl.nu/x7fp

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(813): View more from Florida

I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???

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(813): I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business??? http://tfl.nu/t2g2

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(567): View more from Ohio

i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style

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(567): i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style http://tfl.nu/1r2g

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.

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(859): Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things. http://tfl.nu/chhw

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.

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(202): the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other. http://tfl.nu/vc7e

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(819): View more from Quebec

She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad

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(819): She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad http://tfl.nu/9y98

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(317): View more from Indiana

She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean

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(317): She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean http://tfl.nu/wqi7

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(818): View more from California

She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....

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(818): She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again..... http://tfl.nu/lpua

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(+36): View more from

until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.

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(+36): until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober. http://tfl.nu/a4ay

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(313): View more from Michigan

I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.

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(313): I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to. http://tfl.nu/ozzk

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