someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.