Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?