Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high