So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
