Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
