As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
