I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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