hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
