She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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