ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize