Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize