Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
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I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
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I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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