no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
