Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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