omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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