The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
