You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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