if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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