He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
