there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
