I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
