Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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