he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize