I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
