I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
