i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
