Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
