remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
