HIV tests are more positive than that guy
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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