not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
