She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
