i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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