Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
