I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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