Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
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