she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
