The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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