I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
