Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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