When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway