too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.