I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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