so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
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yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
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And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Drunk is a universal language darling