I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
