if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
