bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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