i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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