I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize