If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Every concussion has its silver lining
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
