I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
