i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize