just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
this will be a night to untag.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
