even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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