New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
