I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
