His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
whose ass print is on the piano?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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