SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
