yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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