i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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